Priority Number One: Husband
"And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a help meet for him." Genesis 2:18.
The priority list of a good help meet goes like this:
1. Husband
2. Children (if any)
3. Others
When I married my husband, I promised to be a faithful and true wife, to love, comfort, and keep him. I promised to forsake all others and remain true unto him as long as we both live. I have endowed all my worldly goods to him in sickness, health, poverty, and wealth until death parts us. And it's not easy.
"Unto the woman he said, I will greatly multiply thy sorrow and thy conception; in sorrow thou shalt bring forth children; and thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee." Genesis 3:16.
Your man is the head of the household. Sometimes you must step outside of your position to care for him or to save others from him, but those exceptions are rare.
Too often in this world, the concerns of the world or the business of parenting takes over, and you turn some of your worldly goods to your children or to some other people, and the wife pushes the husband aside, forsaking him for the children. When the children come first, the marriage suffers. Your husband did not marry a worry-wart with no time for him. He married a mischievous girl who had fire and love in her eyes for him and him alone.
"There is a difference also between a wife and a virgin. The unmarried woman careth for the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and is spirit: but she that is married careth for the things of the world, how she may please her husband." I Corinthians 7:34
Sometimes, I forget to be that girl. Sometimes I can't be that girl after a long hard day with a teething boy or too many projects to keep up with. For a whole year, I lounged around the house and did little, recovering from a horse accident and then dealing with a pregnancy and postpartum depression on top of caring for a little one. My husband was worried that his little spitfire had died under the back of a fiery stallion, and in a way maybe she had. But now I am coming back. He may not appreciate it much, for now I am a little careless and maybe reckless when he pops me with kitchen towels and that sort of thing. Yeah, I popped him in the chest (not too hard!) with my fist at one point... Ooops... I also have teeth and a fierce grip with my hands (and teeth) while we play-fight for a minute while dancing in the house or teasing each other.
"For a man indeed ought not to cover his head, forasmuch as he is the image and glory of God: but the woman is the glory of the man. For the man is not of the woman; but the woman of the man. Neither was the man created for the woman; but the woman for the man." I Corinthians 11:7-9.
Putting children or anything else before your husband does two things:
It puts your husband down and makes him feel deserted, and
It makes the children (or whoever else you're putting first) feel entitled to your time.
"Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body. Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands, as unto the Lord." Ephesians 5:22-24.
I mean, if you're forsaking your spouse for them, surely they are worth so much more than the man you married and deserve your time more than he does!
And surely your wifely duties are not a priority.
Marriage is not easy. But it is what you signed up for, and if you divorce your man you only break the biggest vow you have ever and will ever make. And if you break that promise, how can you be trusted to keep other promises?
"The aged women likewise, that they be in behaviour as becometh holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things; That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed." Titus 2:3-5.
Notice how we are told to love our husbands and to obey them? Is it that important? Yes, I believe it is.
I will end with this famous passage:
"Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies. The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil. She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life. She seeketh wool, and flax, and worketh willingly with her hands. She is like the merchants' ships; she bringeth her food from afar.. She riseth also while it is yet night, and giveth meat to her household, and a portion to her maidens. She considereth a field, and buyeth it: with the fruit of her hands she planteth a vineyard. She girdeth her loins with strength, and strengtheneth her arms. She perceiveth that her merchandise is good: her candle goeth not out by night. She layeth her hands to the spindle, and her hands hold the distaff. She stretcheth out her hand to the poor; yea, she reacheth forth her hands to the needy. She is not afraid of the snow for her household: for all her household are clothed with scarlet. She maketh herself coverings of tapestry; her clothing is silk and purple. Her husband is known in the gates, when he sitteth among the elders of the land. She maketh fine linen, and selleth it; and delivereth girdles unto the merchant. Strength and honour are her clothing; and she shall rejoice in time to come. She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness. She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness. Her children arise up, and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praiseth her. Many daughters have done virtuously, but thou excellest them all. Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain; but a woman that feareth the LORD, she shall be praised. Give her of the fruit of her hands; and let her own works praise her in the gates." Proverbs 31:10-31.
Today I have decided to put something I love to use in the kitchen on this blog. A Crock-Pot slow cooker. I actually have two slow cookers and have used them both, but this one is definitely my favorite. I have not used the little dipper beside it, but I intend to one day make queso or heat salsa with it. The slow cooker has been used to make spaghetti sauce and cook pork chops many times, and I absolutely love it! And guess what! It's on sale! It was $54.50, but now it is up for $33.99, PLUS free shipping. How is that for a deal?!
And now to get back to revising my book before going back to my parents' place to celebrate Katharine Marie's birthday tomorrow! See y'all next week!
1. Husband
2. Children (if any)
3. Others
When I married my husband, I promised to be a faithful and true wife, to love, comfort, and keep him. I promised to forsake all others and remain true unto him as long as we both live. I have endowed all my worldly goods to him in sickness, health, poverty, and wealth until death parts us. And it's not easy.
"Unto the woman he said, I will greatly multiply thy sorrow and thy conception; in sorrow thou shalt bring forth children; and thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee." Genesis 3:16.
Your man is the head of the household. Sometimes you must step outside of your position to care for him or to save others from him, but those exceptions are rare.
"There is a difference also between a wife and a virgin. The unmarried woman careth for the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and is spirit: but she that is married careth for the things of the world, how she may please her husband." I Corinthians 7:34
"This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church. Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband." Ephesians 5:32-33.
This verse does not mean for you to tell your husband to love you, for that would not be reverencing him.
"For a man indeed ought not to cover his head, forasmuch as he is the image and glory of God: but the woman is the glory of the man. For the man is not of the woman; but the woman of the man. Neither was the man created for the woman; but the woman for the man." I Corinthians 11:7-9.
Putting children or anything else before your husband does two things:
It puts your husband down and makes him feel deserted, and
It makes the children (or whoever else you're putting first) feel entitled to your time.
"Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body. Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands, as unto the Lord." Ephesians 5:22-24.
"But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God." I Corinthians 11:3
And surely your wifely duties are not a priority.
Marriage is not easy. But it is what you signed up for, and if you divorce your man you only break the biggest vow you have ever and will ever make. And if you break that promise, how can you be trusted to keep other promises?
"The aged women likewise, that they be in behaviour as becometh holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things; That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed." Titus 2:3-5.
Notice how we are told to love our husbands and to obey them? Is it that important? Yes, I believe it is.
I will end with this famous passage:
"Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies. The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil. She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life. She seeketh wool, and flax, and worketh willingly with her hands. She is like the merchants' ships; she bringeth her food from afar.. She riseth also while it is yet night, and giveth meat to her household, and a portion to her maidens. She considereth a field, and buyeth it: with the fruit of her hands she planteth a vineyard. She girdeth her loins with strength, and strengtheneth her arms. She perceiveth that her merchandise is good: her candle goeth not out by night. She layeth her hands to the spindle, and her hands hold the distaff. She stretcheth out her hand to the poor; yea, she reacheth forth her hands to the needy. She is not afraid of the snow for her household: for all her household are clothed with scarlet. She maketh herself coverings of tapestry; her clothing is silk and purple. Her husband is known in the gates, when he sitteth among the elders of the land. She maketh fine linen, and selleth it; and delivereth girdles unto the merchant. Strength and honour are her clothing; and she shall rejoice in time to come. She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness. She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness. Her children arise up, and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praiseth her. Many daughters have done virtuously, but thou excellest them all. Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain; but a woman that feareth the LORD, she shall be praised. Give her of the fruit of her hands; and let her own works praise her in the gates." Proverbs 31:10-31.
Today I have decided to put something I love to use in the kitchen on this blog. A Crock-Pot slow cooker. I actually have two slow cookers and have used them both, but this one is definitely my favorite. I have not used the little dipper beside it, but I intend to one day make queso or heat salsa with it. The slow cooker has been used to make spaghetti sauce and cook pork chops many times, and I absolutely love it! And guess what! It's on sale! It was $54.50, but now it is up for $33.99, PLUS free shipping. How is that for a deal?!
And now to get back to revising my book before going back to my parents' place to celebrate Katharine Marie's birthday tomorrow! See y'all next week!
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